Thanks to my best buds!

On March last month, i finally get married and had my 2 best bud to come witness and also become my photographer. well i'm really grateful to them on one of my important day of my life. i only got 1 photo with them inside... :-D

Thanks man!! and too bad my other bud, chau_fah_hai can't make it.... next yumcha is on you man....

ps. when i can have my all my photos ah ? hehe....

Road Pests – A HEX on you…

BEWARE!!

For many donkey years, Malaysian roads have been infested by pests that could easily dethrone cockroaches as the King of Pests. These low-lives are multiplying by the seconds and science has yet discovered their origins and how they come about to plague the world. What is for certain is that they are here to stay and they are growing more menacing by the minute.

I just had an experience this morning with these road-pests cum sons-of-asses. Minding my own business while I was driving, casually putting on the turn-right signal moving to the right lane, when I noticed one of these road barbarians on two-wheelers careening beside all the cars from far. Noticing that this dumbass-brainless-shit-goat-for-a-father moron was still far away, I slowly maneuvered my car to the right lane.

And guess what? This asshole-shit-for-a-brain-Goddamned-scum-of-society continued to speed forward. Had I not stopped he would have rammed directly into the side of my car, flying meters into the air before crashing onto ground spilling what’s left in that nutshell-head of his onto the road. OHHH HOW I hoped I had not stopped. I would have done the world a favor by reducing the number of idiots in this world. But I did one of the stupidest things; I stopped, allowing him to pass. And what do I get in return? The motherless fool stopped and yanked a fucking dent in my car!



Could you imagine that?! Could you even possibly imagine that?! Had I not restrained myself, I would have jammed on the accelerator and grinded him down on the spot. But ALAS, I did not! And he sped off.

May all who read this blog bear witness to this forbidden HEX that I am about to put on the driver of motorcycle plate number WNG 9583….

“By the elements of nature and all living entities, may thou hear thy summon…
Let he who crossed me, Malay male aged around 27 years, riding a cub number WNG 9583 be at your mercy…
Let his rectum be closed and urethra be clogged,
Let he not sleep and yet not awake,
Let he be terminated from employment and his bank account frozen,
Let he cry help but get none in return,
Let him loved but get no such sweet returns,
Let him eat but forever be hungry,
Let him question but get no answer…
May his soul be forever at war... never at peace.
Let he end his life but to no avail,
Till the days of last shall he live with his treachery
And may this HEX be upon him until the day he repent his doings…”

……

Anyway after that, I made a police report but nothing much the police can do about these shit-for-brain people. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t exercise your legal rights.

FUCK the asshole that made fun of the NEGARAKU

Need i say more?

FUCK U! Traitor.

I personally do not find making fun of your own country's national anthem something amusing. Heck, well what was badly sung has its truth but undoubtedly making fun of your own birth country is downright treason and idiotic: like saying

"hey, my mom's a prostitute, she loves my cripple brother more than she loves me,
Though she clothed me, feed me, and nurture me, she's still a prostitute... bcoz she's unfair"

It's even worse IF you sing about another country, what right do you have?

Nobody / Nothing is perfect, and no country for that matter. If you fucking feel that you are being mistreated, then move to another country!

MALAYSIA is not a great country, I'll give you that. MAJOR sucked at FOOTBALL, you should see what WIKIPEDIA says about Malaysian Football. Fucking government double-standard, stupid Penang food (Ipoh food's the best, but NOOOOO, Penang oo ho chiak eh har mee), ungrateful maggots all-around, bla bla bla... etc... etc..

Though so, a not-so-old Chinese saying "比上不足，比下有餘". If you are not proud of your country, what CAN you be proud of? A by-product of dung, that's wat u r, yeah u.

And I fucking despised all the-rest-of-balance-shitholes that find this despicable act funny. Yeah, u. Don't pretend you don't know who I am talking about.

May GOD (and ISA) have mercy on you.

To all Sri Sentosa Kuchai Lama especially class of '95.........Niaseng !

- by chau_fah_hai-
























From me to you ex-Sri Sentosas students of 1995. Have a happy fucking day !!

You all let dog rape !!!

Check my type out....

Today i was given a site and do some test...and here's my results...

Amazing i have no idea i'm 'that rare' type... so what's your type?

Your Personality is Very Rare (INTP)

Your personality type is goofy, imaginative, relaxed, and brilliant. Only about 4% of all people have your personality, including 2% of all women and 6% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Perceiving.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Crap country ruled by craps.......tiuniaseng !!!!

- by chau_fah_hai -

So, wahdegreat is back. Yay.

Kenzo's b'day. Oh, whopee.

Ok. Enough with all the shitty ceremonious (mimicking stupid Yang Cheng Lin's and other Friendster assholes's squeaky voice ) "Oh, Happy Birthday ge !! Eat alredi de ! Why didnt come geh !!" cutey(NOT !) shits. By the way, what's with all these "geh","de" and "ge" ???? The young Malaysian Chinese are really craps nowadays. They are so fucking damn worried if they forgot to wish or nvr being wished Happy Birthday or to be added into their friend's Friendster or forgot to add their friend into their friendster shit. Bloody shit, they should be worrying about stuffs like ...what if Eistein hadn't abandon his infamous cosmological constant ? Or what if Planck changed his mind about his blackbody radiation shit ? What if Huang Di were never born ? That would be a damn right catastrophe cos there won'tbe any Chinese at all !!!! There are so many things that's worth our time and effort to worry and yet, these ah lians worried about how they can creatively use words like "Hao ke ai horr" and sentences ending with "de","dy","ge",geh" so that they can be outstanding among their "hao ker ai" peers

Ah lian in orange : Ni jue de wo ker ai ma ? ( You fucking think I am fucking cute or not? )

Front row ah lians : Ni hao ke ai oooo ! Ta ye hao ke ai de ! ( You fucking cute oooooo ! She ( red shirt girl ) also fucking cute 'de' !)

Middle row ah lians : Ee, wei she ni men na mo ke ai ge ? ( Ee, why you all so fucking cute 'ge'? )

Fat ah lian in the middle : Wo jue de wo zhen de hao ker ai geh ! ( I fucking think I am fucking cute 'geh' )

Oh, the humanity !!! Oh, saviour, hear me now ! Bestow upon me your blessed curse and courage so I may withstand such atrocities ! Saviour, do not forsake me in this fight against evil !

Lo and behold, my prayers were answered in the elegant shape below with the almighty powerful

weapon to counter such inhumane atrocities :

Saviour : Oh, girls. Look what I got ya !

Oh yea !!! Give it to us ! I am soooo excited ! Lift me higher, bitches !!! I need to grab Saviour's weapon !

Another Ah lian : Oooo !!! Very the ker ai de geh ! I'm so the high de !!

Yea, fuck you friendster biatches !!

Anyway, this wasn't my intended article, but I felt it's worth mentioning though. My actual intention is now subsequenting.

Yes, what a great bi-weeks we have recently. ANd so juicy too, cos two by-elections had and going to take place. The Machatt Machap and the Ijok one.

Just a quick run down on these two constituents. I bloody never heard before of these two kampungs until recently, thanks to heavy publicity by local dailies here. Brought a great buzz to the town kampungs though. Well, Machap went into this frenzy by-election because its MP Poh Ah Tiam ( for those in the know, I deliberately omit his title plainly because I hate M'sian gorment ) passed away. And hence, the showdown between BN_MCA and DAP. We all know the outcome. No, I'm not talking about BN winning that confounded election. I'm talking about how the election proved people from Machap are practically, deaf, dumb and mute.

Now, fast forward to Ijok. Same thing laaa, someone die and then what else, by election lorrr. This time, at time of production of this article, it's BN-MIC vs Parti Keadilan Rakyat. Like Machap, I'm sure Ijok is also made up of deaf, dumb and mute. Not forgetting stupid. That goes to Machap people also. And I really mean it. And I don't fucking regret for what I say.

Anyway, my main objective here is to highlight the events that accompanies the election. Take a look at the pictures below.

The annual hunt for bottled Carlsberg to be consumed in kopitiam later got off to a great start.

"WOooooo ! Woooooo !! Wooooooooo !"

So, what's so special above the picture ? Police catching stupid fucking Indon immigrants ? Some sort of demos ? Well, I'm sure you can conjure up anything that has relation to crime and violence.

This is a scene from the by-election thing. What the fuck ?!

I have always thought election is democracy's peacful and loving way of showing people's power. But it seems otherwise, as shown in the two pix.

The MPs, Datuks, of respective camps, I thought, should present a gentlemen conduct during elction and nomination day and conduct they way they should be conducting, that is, in a manner that the rakyat can respect. But as we, the always-know-way-ahead of government, knows, the election was marred by incidents as above.

Adults seemingly representing us, the rakyat, brawling around like fucking schoolchildren. Have they got no shame ? Guess not cos as soon as you enter politics, you have just sold your soul to the almighty Satan. You have no shame, no pride, no dmoral, no dignity.

Look at other western democracy country. Both parties shake hand and greet each other. DO you see them brawling like headless chicky ?

Just imagine, these are the people who works for the parties. And if they look are fucking gangsters, guess who is their kepala.

How to live in Malaysia anymore !?

Shame on you, Malaysian government ! Shame on you Barisan Nasional !! Fuck you Samy Vellu !

To UMNO, MCA and MIC.....tiuniaseng chau chibek !!!!!

Happy Birthday MasterKenzo!!!!

Happy Birthday MasterKenzo!!!!



That's it.... Here's a birthday song for u....

wo hui lai le

I AM BACK!!! YOOOOO HOOOO!!!

Hello?! err... anybody... er.. home?

Where the fuck is everyone?

Man, I can't believe I left town for a while and everybody stop blogging... I am touched, I really am.. I knew you guys can't live without me but this.. this is just so so sob sob sob touching...

It's like going away and the whole world misses you... damn! I didn't know I have that kind of effect on people...

What?! I beg your pardon. Oh... that, where have I been? Well, working working working, traveling traveling... China, Taiwan, Melaka, Penang, Kuching, Puchong, Seri Petaling, Kajang, you know, the works.. just to name a few. It's funny how traveling opens one's eyes...... especially if you bring along your LUMIX 10.2 megapixel with 12X Optical Zoom upto 16X Digital Zoom!! WOO-HOOOOOO!!!

Well, China was work, though I DID get some after-work action (If yer know wat ah mean... ). Taiwan waaaaaaas cool coz it ain't work. And I don mean the weather. Didn't get much action in Taiwan.. but I did catch these two fellas getting some at the airport...



Well, they WERE doing it in public.. airport some more.. what a great way to show tourist that Taipei is only cool in the weather but warmmmmmmmmmmm everywhere else...

Anyhow, it's great to be back.. China and Taiwan is a great place to visit, but staying there.. I wouldn't consider.

Trust me, you don wana be living in a country where...



... people use dustbins as a head ornaments while playing flute and giant chickens walking around.

Are you annoying ??....tiuniasing !!!

- by chau_fah_hai -

The following is not an exhaustive list of people who are deemed not even worth devil's time to mutilate......

1) People who speak out loud on the phone in places where you are morally suppose to keep your bloody voice down. Even if you need to speak, speak softly. I came across an incident where a guy was yacking away without an utter consideration that there might be some sane people who are trying to get some sleep in a bus. The conversation is ...well....bloody typical. You know, like "Dear, can you hear me...I can hear you ".......what the chibai ??!!!! This is nothing.......the worst is this. That guy was telling the person on the phone ( presumably a girl, otherwise.........) that he was in some place and acted as though like he has been in Ethiopia for the rest of his fucking life. It goes something like this :
Guy : Dear, ni zhi dao wo men chi shi mo ma ? Wo men chi "kai lan" chau "kai lan" aaa !!!! Zhi hau xiao !!!! ( trans : Dear, do you know what we eat ? We eat "kai lan" fry " kai lan" aaa !!! Damn funny ) By the way, this guy looks like an Ah Beng, so you get the effect of his expression.
My point is, why must you people be such an ass !!?? Didn't it come across your mind to RESPECT others !!!???

2) People who swerve or overtake you WITHOUT signalling when driving. I can forgive you if you are disable and reaching the signal stick seems like swiming to the moon, but pretending to be one is so physical retard of you !!! Please laaaa, the signal stick is made for you to TELL people you are turning, even if it's just a slight swerve. You must be a fucking retard if you can't even do that. Or maybe you use that stick to satisfy your sexual predatopry instinct ??!!!! What is wrong with you people ??? COnvenient ????? Fuck you !!! Go crash your car and you are a real convenient to law-abiding road-users.

3) Fast drivers are also another piece of shit. If you met an accident one day, I will really stop by to help by guffawing at you.

4) Commentators in cinema are another group of people deserved to be raped by the "EXIT" signage. Why the fuck you must talk and yack while watching a movie !!!??? "Oi, I pay the ticket, I got the right to do so !!!" Yea, but dude, I ALSO PAY THE TICKET AND I HAVE THE RIGHT TO STRIP YOU AND FUCK YOU TO KINGDOM COME IF YOU DON'T SHUT THAT FUCKING MOUTH OF YOURS !!!!! A typical scene is as below. By the way, I managed to take a picture of this "Man" punya expression right after I courteously begged asked him to tone down. Please imagine his face throughout the following scenario.

Oi, you ask me to shar dup aaa ???!!! oyyyyyyyyyy !!!!!!

Advertisement showing Jessica Alba with Tiger Beer.

Man : Ah, Jessica Alba ( followed by some comments to show that he has extensive knowledge about Alba's curvy body. )

Advertisement showing Maxis with some footballers.

Man : Ahh, World Cup. ( abu den ??? your lanjiao glowing aa ??!! )

Advertisement showing Tiger Beer.

Man : Ah, Carlsberg

Partner : Wwaaa....you so clever.

Man : Of course I know, I everyday drink one. I so macho. You like me ?MMMmmm....

PArtner : yyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..................I like you hor. You very the ker ai horrrr !!!

Man : ( Please refer to the picture I took of him again ) ...yahhh...horrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

'nuff said ....obviously both this guy and his chic or fren or watever animal is that is ultimately either stupid or not worth my time to think of an adjective.

Like I mention above, this is not an exhaustive list of people who deserved to be shipped to Iraq and let those happy Iraqi stroke your butt.

If you happen to have this tingling feeling that you might be one of the person characterized above, please feel free to paste your pic on the space below for worshipping purposes by the the great actor, Bobby Yip Kin Sang a.k.a Bat Leung Gum

EEeeee...ehehehehee....eeeeeee.....ehehehe......eeeeeeeee

If you really are one of the people above, please laaa...after being worshipped by Mr Yip, please please go and do the world a favour by joining Barisan National. I heard they are on recruitment drive and you could be a star among their ranks.

Chibetttt !!!!!!!!!!!